Fembat Unhinged

This entry was inspired by this weeks Topic suggestion at Topical Tuesday.

In this weeks Topical Tuesday we would like you to write a letter to yourself – it can be your past or future self.

Dear Eliza,

Firstly, I know you are, by nature, a skeptic. Without some revelation of knowledge known only to you and I.. I mean we, I mean I, oh nevermind.. without some revelation of knowledge known only to ourselves I know you are unlikely to believe a word of this. So I shall begin by reminding you of something only known to yourself – Cala Ferrera, Miquel.

OK. Now we have that out of the way… I am you. Twenty years in the future. Based on this twenty years here are some words of wisdom.

Put the muck shovel down and go find a computer. Yes, thats right, the big white thing stuck on a desk gathering dust. Yes, this is a computer. In twenty years time you will be working on one of these. I understand, it seems hard to believe now with your shit covered jodphurs and nose so far up your arse you couldnt find yourself out with a map. I know it seems like a good idea now but working with horses isnt the career for you. Take it from your crippled older and wiser self.

Opt to study A level Computer Studies. It is the future. Do not study History at university, study Computer Studies or Design. You´ll thank your future self for it later.

If you get the urge to drop out of university to return to a life of back breaking manual labour and shit shovelling; ignore it! This way leads to poverty, despair and owning a wallet emptying poop producer.

Embrace your inner geek. It is there, trust me. Just very well hidden beneath all the horse obsession and snootiness.  I was lead into the geek side of the force by some strange people on a chat site, but trust me, you need a head start. I want to be a better website designer and without all the health complications and pain derived from 6 years as a rider and profressional shit shoveller.

Forget horses, history, even social studies… computing, and in particular, website development is the job for you. OK, I know at this point you dont actually know what any of this is, but trust me, it´ll be good for you.

Oh, and Eliza, darling. Your taste in men sucks. No more holiday romances with delightful Latinos. ¡Nunca mas! I know you are the Queen of commitment-phobia and the princess of a low boredom threshold. But, you know, try and have a meaningly relationship once in a while. Oh, and if you hear the name Max and el cubano in the same sentence – run, very fast, in the opposite direction. Got it? Good girl.

Course, after writing all this I know you are a stubborn teenager who will do precisely the opposite to anything I say.  That said, I know deep down your instincts are good – even if you do ignore them half the time.

I love you,
Eliza

This entry was inspired by this weeks Topic suggestion at Topical Tuesday.

Out of all the books you have read during the course of your lifetime which have you enjoyed the most or, if you prefer, which have inspired you the most?

Which books would you recommend to your visitors as must reads for the coming year?

I read a lot. In fact one of the most irritating parts of having to earn a living is it interferes with my reading time. Casting that grumble aside here is a list of the books I have enjoyed the most.

1. Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett is, by far, my favourite author. I adore the Discworld series. But, forced to select only one, it would be Going Postal. It is the book which introduces my favourite character Moist Von Lipwig (aka Albert Spangler) an ex-con with a gift of the gab and impeccable charm. Reading the antics of Moist Von Lipwig makes me feel all fuzzy inside. History aside I think, if he were a real man, I would be very close to falling in love. Yes, my taste in men is REALLY that bad. But, if you are a follower of my blog, you probably gathered that already.

2. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Price and Prejudice was the first classic novel I ever read – outside of the genre intended for a younger audience of course.  The English language, as it was then, was beautiful. It had a charm, a flow…

“You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.”

So much nicer than the modern day equivalent don´t you think?

3. Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban by J K Rowling

I loved the Harry Potter books. They draw me into a world away from my everyday problems and, whilst not perfect, they are good stories well told.

Three Books I would recommend to my visitors

1. The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett

2. Prisoner of Birth by Jeffrey Archer

3. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

and an usual one of an atheist to select but I enjoyed it (a little simply written but, still, a moving story)

4. The five people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom

This entry was inspired by this weeks Topic suggestion at Topical Tuesday.

You have been chosen to host a dinner party by Death (yes, thats right, the one with the big scythe). He is to bring with him two other guests of your choosing. They should be someone you would have liked to have met.

Who are they and why? Optionally you may also answer (if you are of the foodie persuasion) what would you serve to your esteemed guests?

My first dinner guest would have to be Freddie Mercury. Whilst other children were lulled to sleep on sweet lullabies I was raised by my Rock Chic mother and, as such, a musical diet of 70´s and early 80´s Rock. Freddie Mercury was the figure of my childhood. Some of my earliest memories involve listening to Freddie´s music or watching him perform live on the TV. I was captivated by his energy and his presense on stage.  He was a God of Rock and there has been no one who can match him since. He was the symbol of my childhood and my teenage years.

A dinner party with Freddie Mercury as the star guest I think would be kind of magical. There are so many questions I would love to ask him and, I am sure I am not alone in saying this, it would be lovely to hear him sing live again…

Freddie Mercury was torn from us far too soon. I remember the day it was announced to the world he was dying. Of course, most of his fans were already aware something was terribly wrong with Freddie. But, to hear it said was devastating. I always say I do not understand how people can become so emotionally deranged over someone they have never met – Elvis, Diana…  But, for Freddie, I cried. Freddie died the same year as my Grandfather and my pony Thomas. It was a bad, throughly demoralising, year.

The second dinner guest is a little bit of a stretch. I am torn between William Rufus, Aethelred Unraed or Claude Moñet. I think I may well go with the latter. Not only do I believe Claude Moñet will have better table manners, but I am not sure I would trust  William Rufus to behave himself in the presense of Freddie.

I am a bit of a foodie but I am unsure what I would serve. Whatever the food it would be served with champagne or Russian Vodka…

This entry was inspired by this weeks Topic suggestion at Topical Tuesday.

One day, whilst out walking, you discover a small gold latern laid on the ground. You quickly pocket it and head home believing that, just maybe, its valuable. Turns out during rubbing its actually cheap as chips, but during one session of particularly aggressive rubbing a genie pops out and shouts “enough already, now I have a damn headache”. After a great deal of bartering he grants you three wishes and one penalty.

What would your three wishes be? What would be your penalty?

I adored the idea of the topic from the moment it entered my head. That is, until I came to have to address it with an answer. I was so delighted to read the entries of my blogging buddies Colin and Sarah that I feel a little under pressure now to deliver something equally amazing. I spent a great deal of time considering this – especially in light of my recent Life List addition

Wish One

I sat here and contemplated for a while and I could not decide in which order to place my three wishes. At that moment I watched my Mum hobble out of the kitchen, clearly in a lot of pain. Rather selfishly that had not even factored on my list. So here it is, taking the prime spot at number one. I wish my Mum could have the health and vitality I remember her having when I was a child. My mother loved to be active, to walk, to run and to swim. She is now crippled by athritis and is in almost constant pain. I know she misses being active dreadfully. Interlinked in this would be a cure for breast cancer. Once cancer enters your life it never leaves, as mother and I have found out since she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2004.

Wish Two

I would like to see a worldwide movement to overthrown intolerance and injustice. Just because someone has a lifestyle which differs from your own or the current “status quo” does not give you a free pass to abuse them. Any intolerance… Life would be a lot easier if people simply moved on and lived their own lives rather than stand in judgement of others.

Wish Three

My third and final wish would be related to my personal quest to live a greener lifestyle. Too many people are concentrating on their “rights”. Their RIGHT to own a gas guzzling uber-car, their RIGHT to travel abroad twenty times a year, their RIGHT to continue to live the wasteful self indulgent lifestyle they have always lived. Others have rights too, and it would be nice for these people to learn a little community feeling, to step back and appraise their values. We have a RIGHT to breath clean unpolluted air, marine wildlife has a RIGHT to live in oil free and unpolluted waters… we have a RIGHT not to watch our planet crumble as a large percentage of the population still fail to realise that their lifestyle comes with a price.

An end to global warning, pollution and lifestyles without consideration for others.

I am going to end that one before I enter full fledge rant mode.

The Penalty.

I believe I must have been experiencing a true moment of vindictiveness when I added the penalty clause, or maybe just an inspired realisation that all good things come with one in life. All good things come with a price… and the penalty is ours, and it has to be of significant magnitude to warrant the three.

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Provided I could experience just one year of seeing my Mum healthy, a world without intolerance, and an end to global warning and pollution. For that I would give my ten years of my life. (phew, quick edit required – I aint that much of a bloody martyr)

This entry was inspired by blog meme Topical Tuesday and its current topic 3D.

3D is making a comeback again. Terrific. Immediately my gut reaction, another Hollywood money making gimic created to make us look as idiotic as we actually are. Its the same old thing brought back time and time again, with just a marginally new angle. Granted there is a lot of positive feedback, but still I am inclined to believe it is little more than a cinematic way of parting us with our hard earned cash.

The notion of 3D is appealing, but it never fully lives up to expectations. Not entirely anyway. I have the residing nightmares from watching Jaws in 3D, thats enough to last any sane individual a lifetime. News of a Halloween 2010 3D.  Hmm, a barely concealed way of drawing people back into the genre.

I hate to be the cynic, and whilst the notion does have appeal for certain movies, it just grabs me as a gimic to draw a declining audience back into the cinemas.

Something that really is exciting is next weeks idea for Topical Tuesday – and its a special edition for all those nanowrimo participants and followers. If you want to know more you´ll just have to check the blog on Tuesday now won´t you?!

This entry was inspired by Topical Tuesday´s latest suggestion!

Funny this topic should crop up at the moment, particularly because I have been staying up into the early hours working on various projects I have in the pipeline. Problem is I am not a person who can really sleep in. Regardless of what time I go to bed I wake up at 8am. Maybe it was because for years I owned horses, which meant an early rising every single morning at 6am.

First thing on a morning when I wake I am unable to eat. Even the thought of food will repulse me, and as for the smell, well… If, on rare occasions, I am hungry and try to eat I have problems with “texture”.  I will have a coffee or tea, depending on how tired I am. Recently I have been drinking “cafe solo” like its about to go out of fashion, purely because I am so tired all the time.

I´ll shower. During the summer months, with the disturbingly hot weather, I tend to have a nice refreshing cold shower. I love it. Absolutely bliss after a hot sweaty night… In winter a longish hot shower is equally welcome.

After that, as someone who works from home, I head over to Carrefour and buy myself a fresh loaf of “pan rustica”. About mid morning when I finally am released from the horrors of food I have tostada con aceite y sal. A wonderful spanish tradition, since they too rarely have a true breakfast till mid morning. Except on a Sunday when I celebrate with “churros y chocolate”. Thick spanish hot chocolate is the best in the world as far as I am concerned. A wonderful rich dark chocolate, beautiful and thick that coats everything you dunk in it. Great on the taste buds, not so great on the hips.

This entry was inspired by this weeks topic Past, Present & Future over at Topical Tuesday. Now you have all week to take part! Do it, now!

Where were you ten years ago?
Ten years ago I had just graduated from university (give or take a few months) with a pointless qualification in equestrian science. Everything I earned was being spent on a horse who, since purchase, had proved absolutely unfit for purpose. At this stage in my life I was still clinging to the childhood dream of becoming an event rider. But I was blinded by adoration for the horse and so persisted, and it was to prove my undoing.

I was spending far too much time on a certain student site, which is where I spent Sarah, a short while before. This year, I am reminded, was the year we also met in the person!

Ten years ago I was not especially geeky. I loved computers, but had yet to become totally hooked on them – this was to come a little later.

Where are you now?
Having discovered my inner geek I now spend my days creating websites for other people. Its a living, but at the moment, not a very good one. I am in my early stages of re-starting my business after a period of sickness.

It´s not easy when you are struggling with bouts of chronic depression. A few days ago I came to the decision to delete all my old files, a symbolic move to represent a fresh start – both on my blog and in my life. Not off to a great start, but I´m sure I can have a point or two for good intentions.

Where would you like to be in ten years?
When I was 16 years old I had my life mapped out. Needless to say things didn´t exactly run according to plan. I never became an event rider, and never attended Guildhall School of Music & Drama (hell, I never even applied). Needless to say I no try and map out a life plan, on account of being much older and wiser cynical.

Ten years from now

1. I will be coping with bouts of depression and will have, finally, put the past behind me.
2. I will have continued to improve my skills in website design, but it will no longer be my main occupation because…
3. I will have graduated my degree in Geo & Environmental Sciences and maybe even continued on to complete my masters.
4. Better still I may even have written the book I have been planning for the last sixteen years.
5. Microsoft will have created an operating system which actually works and Internet Explorer will have been phased out entirely.
6. Bill Gates will have had an unfortunate accident when his Microsoft powered automobile crashes,  and he is presented with the ultimate blue haze of eternal damnation.

Think you can do better? Let us know where you were, are and intend to be by partaking in this weeks Topical Tuesday