Fembat Unhinged

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Hoy en Málaga

This morning as I ventured to Málaga on the bus I was dreaming of the Tostada y Tomate I was going to have as soon as I got there. It is a simple pleasure I have acquired since first I landed in Spain, to live, almost four years ago. For some reason it never tastes as good when attempted in the comfort of ones own home – it has to be in a little Spanish café to fully appreciate the wonder of Tostada dressed with fresh tomatoes and drizzled with olive oil.

On arrival at the bus station in Málaga I immediately set out in search of a café I knew served the best in the area. I was happily contemplating the treat to come when I was brought to a sudden and abrupt halt.

Oh. My. God.

It could not be. My eyes were surely deceiving me.

I double checked just to be sure.

No. It was there, right before my very eyes.

There was a Dunkin Donuts in Málaga, Spain.

Every single diet I have ever been on has been ruined by a single jam donut (thats a jelly to you American folks).

There was a moment of indecision. Tostada con Tomate v Jam Donut.

There really was no contest.

Five minutes later I was happily downing Café con Leche, not with Tostada as I had planned from the outset, but with a lovely squidgy jam filled delight that posed a serious danger to the size of my arse!  Whichever heathen thought to bring Dunkin Donuts to Spain must be hunted down and thanked immediately!

Speaking of the size of my arse. I purchased a new pair of trainers recently – from Amazon´s Black Friday so they were, I admit, dirt cheap. They are Easytone trainers which, apparently, are designed to firm up your legs and bottom when you walk – and thus rendering the need to go to the gym obselete. I was sold on them when presented with a size 8 model who, I am given to understand, I will look like anytime soon with no extra effort at all*.

Lets face it, these trainers could not have been purchased at a better time now I know of the existance of a Dunkin Donuts in Málaga (thank god it is not on my bloody doorstep!).

I have been wearing aforementioned trainers now for approximately two weeks. On and off. In between bouts of muscular pain and being severely crippled. Yes, I really do feel them toning – especially on a night when I can barely walk for the muscular pain.

Anyway, I wore them today too – tad unfortunate because most of Málaga is a building site in progress. They are working on the infrastructure (badly needed) and thus almost the entire city center road system is a mound of rubble. Getting anywhere requires you to take a two mile detour – even when said destination is just 100 yards away from your current location but, unfortunately, on the other side of said road works. Again, silver lining, potentially a good thing since by this time I had consumed two jam donuts. Sorry Moe, I am given to understand it IS the thought that counts!

After a lot of window shopping and a little actual shopping (sadly the wallet refuses to stretch to what the heart desires…) Iventured back to the bus station.

* All sarcasm about awesome trainers and resultant weight loss is strictly unintentional. Honest.

Disapointing Weekends

Suck don´t they? All build up, limited delivery.

This weekend we had two exciting items scheduled.

Move – Relocation to a new property. A three bedroom house far away from prostitutes, violent neighbours, violent dirty streets and being propositioned by curb crawlers. Thanks to the car rental company this has been postponed. Only a few days but still, no longer will it be a road trip calling off at a few places along the way. Instead it will be a mad dash with a “man with van”

Glastonbury – I have been planning my first Glastonbury in months. Next year was going to be, potentially, the first year I could afford it. It was a big deal. I have wanted to go to Glastonbury for over fifteen years. I have never had the income to go.  Next year I would have been able to raise the cash to go. I was one of the very first to register. I was primed to book and make my deposit today, even though it would have been a painful one. But, no, that isnt going to happen either because after four hours of hitting refresh on more browsers than I can count the only time I even got chance to see the seenotickets website was to receive the “SOLD OUT” notice. Do I stand the chance of getting a cancelled ticket in April? I sincerely doubt it – I never even saw the seetickets site, never mind get into a queue. Some people got up at lunchtime, loaded the site and amazingly bought tickets – me, 4 hours, nada. Thats my luck, folks.

That combined with my paypal account being frozen this morning owing to a fradulent hosting order being placed has made for a thoroughly disapointing weekend.

My whinge is thus concluded.

FanGirls are scary

A few months ago I began a site which, because of its nature, attracts far too many “fangirls”.  After falling victim to the sharp, albeit  ineloquent, tongue of a Twiward or Alex O´Loughlin fan a few times I have come to one conclusion.

Fangirls are scary.

Seriously, its not the paparazzi who force these male actors and musicians into hiding, its the fangirls! There is a reason the obsessive teenies were referred to as “Nazgirls” during Lord of the Rings epic run. There is a reason Twihards are considered to be far more deadly than the sparkly vampires they obsess over.

They are the extreme of the fanatic brigade. If you dare to make a less than complimentary statement about their sweethearts buck teeth, broken nose, or crossed eyes then prepare to reap the whirlwind! Since starting my little site (a tongue in cheek rating site) I have received no end of abuse. I´ve been accused of  favouritism (only acceptable if your favourite is the same as theirs!), editing the results so my own favourite would win (oh, honey, life is really too short) and to date have received four threats of violence and vengence (meladrama and obsession taken to the extreme)

A death threat?  I´ve reached the big time!

I feel for the object of their adoration I really do. Some of these girls are one rebuttal short of fully fledged stalker.

Talking to Myself

I headed out to the supermarket this evening for essentials supplies – Gin, Tonic, Chocolate.  You know, just the bare essentials we all need to get by in the modern world.

I´m walking up the street. Its pitch black because the lights are out. A young man, maybe in his late teens (although it could be early twenties now for all I know as I seem to be losing the ability to judge). He eyes me nervously.

Its only when I reach the next juncion do I realise that I had been talking to myself. The little internal conversation in my head was actually taking place out loud… Not very loud, but you know, I was muttering!

Is this the beginning of the end?

Blasts reported in London

What an awful start to the day. I awoke invigorated after a long sleep, and turned on the TV – to this.

Two people have been killed and scores have been injured after at least seven blasts on the Underground network and a double-decker bus in London.

UK Prime Minister Tony Blair said it was “reasonably clear” there had been a series of terrorist attacks.

He said it was “particularly barbaric” that it was timed to coincide with the G8 summit. He is returning to London.

An Islamist website has posted a statement – purportedly from al-Qaeda – claiming it was behind the attacks. (via)

Early this morning little was known about the precise events,. Sky News had very little information to offer, at best it was sketchy. But as time passed, it became clear that we are talking at least seven blasts with 2 killed, and many injured.

I am shocked and saddened yet again the strategy of terrorists is always to attack the innoccent – those who are simply going about their daily lives, often in a system they themselves don’t necessarily agree with. My heart goes out to the families affected once again by organised terrorism.