The waiting game

Yesterday, whilst out walking far from home, I received a phone call from relatives back in the UK advising me my Grandmother was seriously ill. Apparently she has had numerous problems with her stomache recently and was admitted to hospital yesterday unconcious. She´s 91 years old. The doctors have warned that, whilst there is hope, it is unlikely she will recover.

I immediately set about running across town to inform Mum. Exactly why I felt the need to run is beyond me because its not like any degree of urgency on my part could change the situation. Result was by the time I entered the house I was ready to calapse in a heap, bright red and gasping for air. The dog, on the other hand, was merely excited from the extra fun. Mum knew even before I told her. Have you noticed how they do this? I do wonder if women are giving some extra cognitive abilities when they become mothers… The ability to read their offspring like a book being just one of them.

Anyway this morning we received word that her condition had improved marginally but she had not regained conciousness. The consultant is visiting her this afternoon.

Until then we wait.

It is a sharp reminder how difficult it is living in a foreign country far aware from family. We are relying on others for news and carrying the additional burden of guilt for not being there. I think, secretly, my Mum regrets not returning to the UK. The guilt ways heavy on her because she fears she will not be able to see her mother again – she feels deep down she has been a “terrible daughter”. It doesn´t help my Grandmother has frequently stated my mother was selfish to seek a life of her own and not stay close to her.

Thoughts of the day

I actually had a really pleasant day. We had relatives visiting. They have a holiday home about 45 minutes from here, and decided to come up for the day. Joking aside I have a great deal of affection for my Aunt & Uncle. My Uncle has an exceptional mind and, like me, is atheist. My Aunt, well, she´s lovely – not perfect (who is?) but lovely all the same.

Today´s visit was nice, pleasant. We discussed how my job in design was going. My Uncle offered his advice on purchasing a secondary computer just in case the first should meet an unfortunate and untimely accident (highly probably in this household)…

We had take out from a small Spanish tapas bar in the centre of town. The food is exceptionally good. Todays meal consisted of Aubergines stuffed with roasted vegetables and layered with copious amounts of melted cheese, a rich spanish pork stew, roasted garlic potatoes (heavy on the garlic) and slices of pork lomo in juices. Complimented by a large loaf of peasant bread. It was divine.

My little dog, as always, was all over my Aunt & Uncle. I swear sometimes I feel that dog would gladly abandon us in favour of living with them!

The subject of our residence in Spain was approached. I am not entirely sure we gave a conclusive answer because, at the moment, with telephone line and internet installed it is undecided. I think, for the first time in months, we are split. I have adored Spain from afar for so long that a very small part of me would not like to surrender yet. Yet, deep down, there is so much I miss about the UK too. There is a lot to be said for being able to go about your daily lives communicating in your native tongue. Even now, after three years, I do not believe I have mastered enough of the language to really succeed here on my own. I still fall from one hurdle to the next, more through sheer necessity and determination not to fail.

I guess that, if I did return, one of the draws would be if I were to be offered a job in design. I would love to expand my skillset – sure, working freelance does this. But is is mostly through self learning whenever the need to know something extra is met – and the balls to say “sure, I can do that” before I know whether I actually can. I know my limits and I never take on a job which is way out of my reach, dont get me wrong, but a lot of  what I know today has been self taught when I have met the challenge. It does however leave gaping holes in my skillset – which I would love to address. Really love.

I don´t know. I was sure I wanted to return home, so very sure. Now I am torn, split in two…undecided.

I would be lying if I did not admit that I wanted to be closer to friends. I´m a little lonely here out in Spain. But then a little voice questions… What if I don´t live up to the expectations of the friends I have made online? What if they have an illusion of me, and I don´t live up to that?

Ah. Mind taking me off on a massive tangent. Anyway, these are my thoughts of the day.

xx