I’ve slipped into the habit of posting meme’s again, and that’s something I said some time ago I was never going to do consistently. Truth is I have had a lot on my mind lately, stuff that I didn’t believe I could post here. That’s ludicrous of course. A couple of bloggers recently have made me sit back and think, whether it be their comments on writing for others, or their premature departure and uncertain return.
A friend of mine commented that I hadn’t been on msn recently. That’s not entirely true. Truth is I blocked you all from seeing me. I didn’t want to talk, I wanted to vegetate in my own world and think, uninterrupted. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things this last week or so. One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with was, for one reason or another, the way I feel about myself and those around me has changed. I needed to come to terms with how I felt, because sometimes the truth can hurt, more so when the truth involves a realisation about oneself. Harder still when you find you no longer feel the same way about friends you once treasured.
Monica reminded me that there is a tendency to a ‘throw away culture’, of friendship as well as material possessions. Since I didn’t want to fall victim to such a wilful dismissal of something as important as friendship I moved. I put the past behind me where it rightly belonged. I hoped I would come out of it all for the better, with the realisation that nothing is so precious as friendship, except I didn’t. Is there a point when you realise that sometimes it is better to move on? or am I just hard and cold as so many have claimed me to be? Better still, if I really put the past behind me will those feelings I once so treasured return?
I once said on someone’s weblog that our blog friendships reflected the same pattern as friendships in our offline lives. As we develop we tend to attract a new set of people. Those who are true friends stay with us to share the journey, those who merely enjoyed the briefest connection, move on.
It is human nature, our feelings for others maintain a friendship when all connection has long since gone. We each change as we grow, we never stop growing, so does it mean therefore that friendships cannot outlast the point when you cease to have anything in common? Are we really such fickle beings? More importantly, am I?
I realise that I have a temperature right now, so maybe my thoughts are a little challenged, so forgive me if eloquence is lacking, or if it not everything I say makes sense.
