I have in recent months become a little bit of an exercise fanatic. Those who know me will probably realise that up to this point I wasn’t all that keen. Well recently because of holidays and job hunting I found I was unable to fit in my usual swimming sessions and I have suffered as a result. HOWEVER yesterday I had an unscheduled swimming session in the most unusual of circumstances.
When I am in my more confident moments I consider myself a “professional horse women”. That is because under the surface I like a bit of danger now and again, and I take on horses to train people in their right mind wouldn’t even contemplate sitting on. I have as a result had some pretty close calls in the injury department – seen the underside of a lorry, been sat on by half a tonne of horse several times and ended up in the middle of the M62 Motorway on horseback.. Today I managed to add another experience to that catalogue, and by some miracle it was something that normally I would have liked to do. That is in more hygenic and less smelly circumstances – swimming with a horse.
A friend of mine from college recently purchased herself a rather nice show animal. He’s very pretty but unfortunately not quite the full tack box in the mind department. He is in fact missing most of the essential equipment in that department. Of course horses much as we like to think them domesticated are still wild animals with flight instinct. So when they panic.. they run!.. and boy can this horse run. The poor girl was at the end of her tether so I thought that I would give the little darling a go.
So, yesterday afternoon in freezing temperatures I set out on a hack with “Jasper”, a 4 yr old light riding horse with a passion for bolting. Everything was going well. We had encountered cars, lorries, and even a double Decker bus without any real response. Marvellous!. Piece of cake, no really what was all the fuss about?.
The fuss was that this horse is not bothered by the larger more logical frightening objects one tends to find on roads, oh no.. this horse fears hedges, both large and small. They are terrifying. I mean.. you never know what can spring up from behind a hedge do you?!. A dog.. a tiger.. a few snakes.. big birds.. or maybe even… A LEAF. Yes I had a dunking in a river because some half witted half brained horse was afraid of a bloody LEAF!!!.
The whole episode should have been captured on cartoon and broadcasted to the nation, or maybe even caught on camcorder so at least I could earn £250. Leaf falls without warning from a overhanging bush.. horse, in fit of horror, spins round and procedes to charge over a small very slippy footbridge crossing a very dirty smelly section of river. Horse slips, horse lands on rider, horse & rider plummet into river. I don’t think I need to insult your intelligence by saying that I was very wet and sore, the horse was very wet (and will soon to be very sore when I get my hands on it today for another session). My mobile… has died. It worked briefly for a short time last night but ultimately died.
Serves me right really, because before I departed for the ride Mum had stated her lack of enthusiasm for me riding this specific animal. I had explained how I had ridden much worse and much bigger animals, and how if anything did happen I had my mobile to call for help.
Erm.. actually I didn’t. I had an audience in the nearby pub to do that for me.
Today I am sore, grumpy and have the starting of a chill.
Last night I discovered my computer was infected with a SirCam Virus. Does anyone need to ask me what kind of day I had now?!!
